ONE
TWO
THREE
FOUR
FIVE
Friday, January 26, 2007
rawr i miss obs. dagama!
i want obs again. sherlyn and i saw daniel! but we didnt say hi because we didnt dare to. sulyn did though lucky her =D
why doesnt rjc let us go to obs instead of having ogs. D:
"LET ME GO TO OBS AGAIN" PEILING DEMANDS.
peilings feeling okay now so dont worry. but whatever it is, i'll never forget ashley. and all our crazy ideas about how when i grow up i'll go visit her in america and we'll go jamming together and what not. im just sorry i was never online when you were because of the time difference and all. you'll be remembered. yes she committed suicide.
ive got so many thoughts and questions on suicide but im too lazy to pen them down so rawr.
the whole church issue is bugging me once again. i was able to push it out last year because i was really busy but now that schools just started, im free and so yeah. i mean ive been in zion for quite a while, and somehow i know it's not the place for me [at least not now]. and it doesnt help that i keep comparing it with bc like bc youths vs zion youths. and i end up feeling very homesick [bc's my home eh] and i just cant wait to get out of zion. the people in my yd's nice. the teachers are nice. but it's just... i dont know. the whole environment and all. and yes anything is that zion is so big. too big for my liking. zion bishan + zion serangoon = no thanks man.
if it doesnt improve by the end of the year, im rather positive that i'll go source for a church, visit it and if i find it's the place for me, settle down. bc youths have asked me why would go to some other church but not bc. honestly i dont know. but there's just something in me that tells me that my "job" is done in bc so-to-speak. ive done my part, ive seen revival. im convinced that God wants me to go somewhere else. it may turn out to be zion after all, or it may be somewhere else. by saying that ive done my part, no im not going to break all ties with bc, that's like crazy and ridiculous. but it just means that it's time for me to go somewhere else. i hate to say that but i guess ive gradually learnt to accept it. which is why im slowly letting go of my responsibilities- yes my dear p6s last year, that's why faith is taking you guys now instead of me. no doubt there's still this thing within me that screams "i want to go back to bc!" but i dont know... and yes why do i wait until the end of the year. because if my sister goes over to uk, it'll be somewhere in september. and kor will most probably enter ns next jan. so it'll be me and my parents. and the whole family thing wont exactly stand after all, so i guess i shall just talk to them towards the end of the year. perhaps go visit someone's church/ go join someone's youth camp and see how it goes/ source for an entirely new church.
but ive got pray and really ask for God's guidance as to firstly the most important question whether i should go/ remain in zion. and later on if im supposed to go, where should i go- back to bc? or somewhere else?
on a lighter note, im glad that im talking more to sulyn now. much more. and im glad i managed to email her before my pride set in and all. sulyns most prob joining gb [tell me there's no quota for a batch please] so yeah, im glad that i'll be able to see her more and talk to her more too. and sherlyns sitting next to me now so yes i can talk to her (: and ask the pro one questions when i dont understand =D yay for sulyn and sherlyn.
ive been emailing/ snail mailing people whom ive not been keeping much contact with for the past year[s]. it was one of my new year resolution. and im proud to say im more than halfway through my list of people yay. it's tiring and can be exhausting but oh well (:
simplicity.
*****
simple facts
peiling
30 march
christian
tnsrgs
